Earlier this week, tests conducted by SpaceX on the red planet revealed that the atmosphere is 94% milk, but in a state that can’t be found on Earth, because of the temperatures and pressures the planet has. In fact, milk hasn’t been reported to exist in this state anywhere else in the observable universe.

Turns out this form of milk is extremely stable and has a null reactivity against any other element, which gives it its tasty flavor and white color. 

 

SpaceX was gathering data from possible landing sites for Starship when they accidentally found that the new substance is “tasty as fuck”, according to readings from the Rover that was examining the area.

One of the possible applications for Noble Milk is making radioactive super weapons, though the scientists have yet to bring this up, our editors are sure it will happen.

 

According to the scientists responsible for the discovery, Milk as a noble gas could be our best bet in energy storage solutions, as M₂ batteries could achieve up to 42x the energy density of Li-ion alternatives.

We could see some of these applications being used commercially as soon as 14 months, just in time for the end of the global quarantine. Until then, practice social distancing and stock up on bone juice.